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ALL I EVER WANTED
By Frank Moher

Prologue:

  (In the dark, we hear a madrigal sung by a mid-sized community choir.

Lights rise on a bare, raked stage. Furniture pieces, etc., can be used to indicate different settings. ELEANOR, HARMON, KIM and TODD stand at various points on the rake, as if part of a larger group. They sing along, each in his or her own light.

Successively, they address the audience.)

  ELEANOR
Sometimes it seems every one in the world wants to move here. And has. Every week there are new faces showing up, at the market, at the Mohawk station, at the second-hand store. But there was something different about her. She stood out. Selling her newspaper at the Lions' Rummage Sale, beaming everytime someone pressed another loonie into her hand. I have to admit I thought: "Ah-hah! A kindred spirit."
  (She stands there, remembering. She doesn't resume singing.)

  KIM
Sometimes all you have to do is look at a situation to know there's something wrong. Reporter's instincts, I guess. Or common sense. I mean they looked nothing like each other; aren't relatives supposed to look alike? And there was something about the boy, something about the way he could never quite look you in the eye. That wouldn't hold up as evidence in court, of course. But to a journalist, it's like wearing a T-shirt saying "Something Going On".
  (As above.)

  TODD
All I ever wanted was to stay here.
  (As above.)

  HARMON
People look at the scenery around here and they say, "Oh, how beautiful." People from down east, people from off the Prairies. Like me, though that was a long time ago now. And it is. Beautiful. But sometimes they don't see what's really here. Don't see the trees for the forest, so to speak. That girl did, I have to give her that much. She didn't understand everything. But she saw . . . a lot.
  (The four of them stand there, remembering, separately. The singing rises to an end.)

  Scene 1:

  (Eleanor's home, indicated with a table surrounded by a few chairs. A smalltown newspaper, coffee mug on the table.

HARMON and TODD enter. TODD wears a "Nine Inch Nails" T-shirt. Long hair, or maybe no hair. HARMON calls.)

  HARMON
Lenny?

Lenny!

  TODD
Maybe she's out back.

  HARMON
Tending her pot patch. Lenny!

  TODD
She has a pot patch?

  HARMON
No.

Well you better get started anyway. Least take a look.

  TODD
What if I get her truck up on blocks, all the wheels off, and she wants to go someplace?

  HARMON
Then she'll be shit outta luck, won't she?

  TODD
You'll drive her.

  HARMON
Prob'ly.

  TODD
  (Starting out.)
That'd be cool, her havin a pot patch.

  HARMON
  (Muttering.)
Bout as cool as me shavin my head.

ELEANOR!

Judas Priest.
  (He spots the local newspaper, the "Valley Echo", on the kitchen table, and sits down to read.

ELEANOR enters, carrying a handful of brochures, but he doesn't see her. She watches him. He absent-mindedly picks up a nearby mug of coffee and drinks from it.)

  ELEANOR
That's not your coffee.
  (HARMON regards her, regards the mug.)

  HARMON
I thought there was something wrong with it.

  ELEANOR
Bridgehead. From Guatemala.

  HARMON
Yuck. Politically correct coffee. Where were you?

  ELEANOR
Why?

  HARMON
I'm hoarse from yellin for ya.

  ELEANOR
Well then don't yell. I was over at Mavis Hollorhan's, taking her some peas. Then Jim Friesen phoned while I was there so I had to talk to him about tuning the piano. Then I had to stop at the Shop 'N Go on my way home, where I ran into Sandy Piercy, so I went over to her place to pick up the Tools for Peace brochures.

  HARMON
So where were you?

  ELEANOR
Marge Dutton's. She needed the brochures. And by the way, it's none of your business where I was.

  HARMON
I get tired just hearin about it.

  ELEANOR
  (Pecking him on the head.)
You and Marge Dutton. She was still in bed.

  HARMON
  (Reading the paper.)
Ha-ha! Lookit this. Frieda's outdone herself. "Mrs. Rose Gossage gave an exhibition of clog dancing at the community hall, gaily decorated with balloons and irises." Musta been kinda hard to dance, wearin' all that stuff.

  ELEANOR
  (Laughing.)
Poor Frieda!

  HARMON
Why this woman started a newspaper I'll never know. It'd be like me tryna be a air traffic controller.

  ELEANOR
What a scary thought.

  HARMON
Least I know my limitations.

  ELEANOR
  (Tossing another newspaper in front of him.)
Well here, have a look at this one. It looks quite professional.

  HARMON
What's this?

  ELEANOR
It's a new newspaper. Put out by some woman who just moved here from Calgary. Apparently she used to be a reporter.
  (HARMON starts to read. TODD enters, with wrench.)
Hello Todd!

  TODD
Hey.

  ELEANOR
I didn't know you were here.

  HARMON
Todd's fixin your truck.

  ELEANOR
Oh! Thankyou!

  HARMON
He had no choice. It was either that or shovel out our barn.

  TODD
  (To HARMON.)
Did you bring the flashlight?

  HARMON
I thought you did.

  TODD
I thought you did.

  HARMON
Uh-huh. Well I thought you did.

  ELEANOR
Would you like to borrow mine?

  TODD
Oh. Thanks.

  ELEANOR
  (Getting it.)
Thankyou for looking at the truck, Todd. That used to be George's job. It hasn't been tended properly in years.
  (She hands him the flashlight.)
I called Aston Lake, by the way.

  TODD
Oh yeah?

  ELEANOR
They take ten scholarship students a year. Five of them are fine arts scholarships, based on an audition. And one of them, my dear, is going to be yours.

  TODD
Yeah right.

  ELEANOR
It is!

  TODD
Maybe if they got a air drum scholarship.

  ELEANOR
A what?

  HARMON
Todd plays air drums. Show her, Toddy.

  TODD
Oh I don't think she --

  ELEANOR
Sure I do!
  (Pause. TODD isn't too sure about this. He "centres" himself. Then he launches into a sudden, vigorous and totally silent "drum solo". It ends with a cymbal "crash". Pause.)

  TODD
That was "Blonde and Ragged".
  (Beat. Shows them his T-shirt.)
Nine Inch Nails.
  (Beat.)
It kinda helps if you can hear the music.

  ELEANOR
I thought you got that T-shirt at the Home Hardware.

  TODD
Anyway, I don't think --

  ELEANOR
You don't have to make any decision now. All they're doing is sending us the application. Then you'll fill it out, then you'll get in, then you'll become world-famous, then you'll introduce me to Luciano Pavarotti!

  HARMON
They got any scholarships for farmers?

  ELEANOR
The choir can't afford to lose any basses, Harmon. You'll just have to stay here.

  TODD
I think I figured out what's wrong.

  ELEANOR
What?

  TODD
  (Exiting.)
I'll letcha know!
  (He's off.)

  ELEANOR
Nice boy.

  HARMON
Uh-huh.

  ELEANOR
And he sings like an angel. He is going to get into Aston Lake, you know.

  HARMON
Ya'd think you were his mother.

  ELEANOR
No. I just think, if we don't help a boy like that, what's the point in helping people halfway round the world?

How is his mother by the way?

  HARMON
Hm?

  ELEANOR
His mother. Your sister?

  HARMON
Oh! Um . . . better. Uh-huh. But she's still laid up in bed.
  (Something in the paper catches his eye.)
Well I'll be.

  ELEANOR
My uncle had arthritis. He suffered terribly too.

  HARMON
Well I'll be. Guess I won't be subscribin ta this newspaper, will I?
  (He tosses it aside.)

  ELEANOR
What?

  HARMON
Nothin. Nothin.

  ELEANOR
  (Picking up the paper.)
Well it must be something. You ears are turning red.
  (She reads, HARMON looking more discomfited all the time. Suddenly she bursts out laughing.)

  HARMON
Of course.

  ELEANOR
It's wonderful!

  HARMON
You would find it funny. You think socialism's enjoyin a comeback.

  ELEANOR
  (Reads:)
"The News --" -- who's The News? --
  (Regards the front of the paper.)
Oh, she's The News.
  (Resumes reading.)
"The News notes that our federal representative has once again let forth another of his nineteenth-century views on women, this time suggesting the workplace is no place for mothers. We agree. The place for mothers is in parliament, so we don't have to put up with the likes of him anymore."
  (Laughing:)
Marvellous!

  HARMON
All right.

  ELEANOR
And right on the money!

  HARMON
He's a decent man.

  ELEANOR
Decent?!

  HARMON
I used ta curl with that guy, before he got elected. Besides, there's no need to go makin fun a people like that!

  ELEANOR
What about the one before him?

  HARMON
What about him?

  ELEANOR
You used to make fun of the one before him all the time!

  HARMON
The one before him wasn't a curler!

Think I'll stick ta "Western Horseman".

  ELEANOR
Where are you going?

  HARMON
I gotta go pick up some parts in Courtenay. Wanna come?

  ELEANOR
Be still my beating heart.

  HARMON
I didn't say it'd be exciting. We'll do something exciting later.

  ELEANOR
Dirty old man.

  HARMON
Is that a yes?

  ELEANOR
To what?

  HARMON
Courtenay.

  ELEANOR
No. It's my day to take Mrs. Saville her lunch.

  HARMON
Old Granny Saville. I remember when nobody liked her. Now people are bringin her lunch.
  (As he leaves.)
Amazin how age improves your character . . .
  (He's gone. ELEANOR looks to the "News", still open on the table. Looks over the article again. Giggles.)

  Scene 2:

  (The community hall. Some bleachers. Light, cheerful buzz of choristers nearby.

HARMON and TODD sit on the bleachers. HARMON leafs through a book. TODD wears a "Porno for Pyros" T-shirt. He looks over his music.)

  HARMON
Says here . . . that the average winter temperature in Saskatchewan has risen two degrees in the last ten years.

  TODD
You already knew that.

  HARMON
Whaddaya mean I already knew that?

  TODD
You already knew that. You told me that a coupla months ago.

  HARMON
I did?

  TODD
Yeah. An it leads the world in innovative grain elevator design.

  HARMON
Is that so?

  TODD
Geez.

  HARMON
Well I'm not surprised. Y'know it really is an amazing province. Don't know why I ever left there. Said I was only comin out here for a year, meant it, an I still mean it. Thirty-two years later.
  (KIM enters, looks around. She approaches TODD, HARMON.)

  KIM
Excuse me. Is this the choir practice?

  HARMON
Cantcha tell?

  KIM
I thought probably it was. But I came by mistake yesterday, and that turned out to be a meeting of the Rod and Gun Club.
  (Hand out.)
Kim Sayles. How do you do?

  HARMON
Well I do very well, Miss Sayles. My name's Harmon Stolee, how do you do?

  KIM
Looks like you have quite a lively group here.

  HARMON
Oh we're lively, all right. Lively and loud.

  TODD
Hi.

  HARMON
Oh, uh, this is Todd here. My nephew.

  TODD
Hi.

  KIM
You're the boy everybody talks about!

  TODD
I -- am?

  KIM
Oh I've heard nothing but since I got here. Sings beautifully, people say. Looks like Axel Rose, sings like Caruso.

  TODD
That's good, right?

  KIM
Which part?
  (ELEANOR enters, carrying a huge binder.)

  ELEANOR
All right! I hope you're all warmed up, we're doing the medley tonight.

  HARMON
Good. That means I'm off the hook.

  ELEANOR
And Harmon, we're doing your solo.

  KIM
Mrs. Demmling? I'm Kim Sayles, we talked on the phone.

  ELEANOR
Ahh! The Valley News lady, right?

  KIM
Right.

  ELEANOR
Come right over here, I want you to meet one of your biggest fans.

  KIM
Oh, we've already --

  ELEANOR
Harmon, this is the author of that article you liked so much. The one about, how did you put it? -- "Our Jurassic M.P.".

  HARMON
You wrote that article?

  KIM
It was an editorial. Yes.

  HARMON
Oh. Well. Oh. Ta each his own I guess.

  KIM
I take it you didn't like it.

  HARMON
Didn't say that.

  KIM
I've been working on newspapers since I was twenty-two, Harmon. I can kind of tell.
  (Pause.)

  HARMON
Well, it just uh -- seems to me -- unnecessary.

  KIM
What does?

  HARMON
Well uh -- makin fun of people that way. In print, I mean.

  KIM
Even politicians?

  ELEANOR
He was a curler.

  KIM
I'm sorry?

  ELEANOR
A curler. And all that entails.

  HARMON
What I'm gettin at is -- you can get yer point across without bein nasty, can't ya?

  KIM
Not always. Sometimes you have to be nasty, or people just shrug it off.

  HARMON
I see.

  KIM
Though really, I was just trying to be provocative.

  HARMON
You don't think they'll shrug it off anyway?

  KIM
I don't know. Did you?

  TODD
Oooo.

  ELEANOR
Quick, somebody get me a torniquet.

  HARMON
Well, I suppose that sort of thing may be all right for the Vancouver Sun. I just hate to see it start happening here, that's all.

  KIM
I tell you what Harmon -- you write a letter to the editor and I'll run it at the top of the page.

  HARMON
You will?

  KIM
I won't touch a word.

  HARMON
Can I be nasty?

  KIM
Somehow, I get the feeling you don't have it in you.

  ELEANOR
Last gentleman left on earth. Now go do your warm-up.

  HARMON
  (To KIM.)
Maybe she'll forget I'm here.

  ELEANOR
There is no hiding from me, Harmon. Your solo must be sung.
  (HARMON goes.)
Well. That was hardly violent at all.

  KIM
I do have to live here.

  ELEANOR
Mm. Well, watch out for those editorials and you'll do just fine. Alto, right?

  KIM
I think so.

  ELEANOR
I'll get you your music.
  (ELEANOR goes.

KIM stands for a moment, regarding the bustling room around her. Pulls out a notebook, jots down a quick note. Turns.

TODD is on the bleachers, looking over his music. She moves to him.)

  KIM
You like "Porno for Pyros"?

  TODD
You heard of them?

  KIM
Sure. They have a sort of raw but searching quality that's reminiscent of "Stone Roses", but on the whole I prefer the more plangent approach of, say, "Sharkboy".
  (TODD is amazed. KIM laughs.)
I don't really know that much. I just read "Spin" Magazine occasionally.

  TODD
Still, you're the first person I met around here who's even heard of 'em.

  KIM
I'll bet that T-shirt gets a lot of reaction.

  TODD
  (Pleased.)
Yeah.
  (Beat.)

  KIM
That might make a good story, actually.

  TODD
What?

  KIM
Well here you are, a guy who likes "Pyro for Pornos", and yet you sing in the choir, too. And I hear you might be getting a music scholarship.

  TODD
Mrs. Demmling told you that, right?

  KIM
Uh-huh.

  TODD
Well. She thinks so.

  KIM
That'd make a good feature. We could talk about that, about how you got interested in music. Your plans for the future.

  TODD
You think anyone'd be interested in that?

  KIM
They'd be more interested in that than another one of my editorials.
  (Pause.)

  TODD
My Dad was a musician, actually.

  KIM
Really?

  TODD
Well, he wanted to be. Well, he was, he just -- didn't get paid for it or nothin. Used to play a lotta blues. Eric Clapton.
  (HARMON returns.)

  HARMON
Who did?

  TODD
Oh, uh, nobody.

  KIM
His father.

  HARMON
Oh yeah?

  KIM
We were just thinking we might do an article.

  TODD
Not really.

  KIM
Sure we were. On Todd's background, how he got into music, things like that.

  HARMON
I see.

  KIM
That would be -- your brother, right?

  HARMON
Who?

  KIM
His father. Your brother.

  HARMON
No. Uh, no. I'm -- on his mother's side.

Mizz Sayles, I don't think we'll be able to do that.

  KIM
Oh did you want to be part of the interview too?

  HARMON
No.

  KIM
It's fine with me.

  HARMON
What I mean is -- I don't think Todd will be able to do it. He, uh . . . has a lot on his plate at the moment. Don't you, Todd?

  TODD
Yeah, that's right.

  KIM
Well that's the point. He's an interesting guy, I --

  HARMON
I just don't think it's going to work out.
  (Pause.)

  KIM
I thought Todd seemed kind of interested.

  HARMON
Lenny wants the tenors, Todd.
  (TODD goes.)
Thankyou for asking. Sorry we have to say no.
  (HARMON goes too, leaving KIM, puzzled.)

  Scene 3:

  (Music: Domingo. Sweet, yearning. Light up on HARMON.)

  HARMON
I guess you could call me a conservative. Small C, of course. Always voted Social Credit. Now I vote Reform -- until they screw up, and we have ta boot them outta office too. Ta me, a conservative is someone who understands there ain't just too much government in peoples' lives -- there's too much people in peoples' lives too. Nosing around. Tryna impose their values on everybody else. I keep mine to myself.

Still . . . when I see an opportunity to help out, I do what I can. That's the key, see -- waitin for the opportunities to come to you. That way yer not rootin

around, stirring up trouble where none exists. I figure if everybody just did what they can when they need to, we might not need any government at all. Course that day is a long way off. Long way off, and not gettin any closer.

Scene 4:

  (Harmon's farm. HARMON and TODD, stacking bales of hay.)

  HARMON
You had to mention your father?

  TODD
Everybody has a father, Harmon.

  HARMON
I know that, but if you get your stories crossed up --

  TODD
Oh jeez, I hate this, y'know? -- I just hate this.
  (Pause.)

  HARMON
You hate what?

  TODD
All this -- hiding stuff. Y'know? It's such a pile of crap. I feel like some kinda -- pedophile or somethin.

  HARMON
It's necessary.

  TODD
I know it's necessary, Harmon, I'm not saying it's not necessary, I just --

. . . I woulda liked to do that interview.

  HARMON
Have your picture in the paper?

  TODD
Yeah.

  HARMON
Everybody readin about ya?

  TODD
Why not?

  HARMON
Last thing I'd care for.

  TODD
Yeah, well . . . turns out I'm good for somethin. Who woulda thought it. I can sing. Big friggin deal. But I can do it. So why not let everybody know?

  HARMON
Everybody knows it already.

  TODD
That's not the same thing.
  (Pause.)

  HARMON
Well. I can understand that. I guess. Maybe if you're real careful --

  TODD
Naw, you're right. It's too risky.

  HARMON
Might not be -- the wisest move . . .

  TODD
Besides. Mostly I just wanted to spend some time with that Mizz Sayles.

  HARMON
'Scuse me?

  TODD
Do you know, is she married, or divorced, or what?

  HARMON
'Scuse me?

  TODD
Hey. A kid can dream.

  HARMON
  (Getting back to work.)
Don't think that girl from Errington you been going out with would think too much a that.

  TODD
I'm just joking Harmon.

  HARMON
You gonna be seein her again?

  TODD
This Saturday. Oh, by the way. I might need ta borrow twenty bucks.
  (ELEANOR, KIM enter. ELEANOR carries a tray with sandwiches and cokes.)

  ELEANOR
Here we are. BLTs without the lettuce. The one in your fridge has moved on to a better life.

  HARMON
You find everything you need, Kim?

  KIM
I took some beef and a turkey. I left a cheque on your kitchen table.

  HARMON
  (Like a waiter.)
"Enjoy".

  ELEANOR
  (Taking an envelope from the tray.)
And this is is for you.

  TODD
What is it?

  ELEANOR
It's your audition date for Aston Lake. Don't worry, it's not till January.

  TODD
I don't know if I really want to do this.

  ELEANOR
Oh. Well. All right --
  (She takes the letter. TODD snatches it back.)

  TODD
Yes. I do.

  HARMON
Y'know if I'd had a chance like that when I's a kid, I might be a -- farmer right now.

  KIM
That's uh -- quite a picture you have laminated on your coffee table, Harmon.

  HARMON
Ya liked that, didja?

  KIM
I've seen pictures of Elvis like that. But never one of John Diefenbaker.

  HARMON
They got a statue a him in Saskatoon 20 feet tall.

  ELEANOR
Harmon's been threatening to move back to Saskatchewan ever since I've known him.

  KIM
Why?

  TODD
That's what we say.

  HARMON
Oh, you can make fun all you want. The fact is, Saskatchewan don't have any problem with excessive mushroom growth. Does it? Ah-hah. Now think about that.

And now -- having vanquished my detractors -- we have a pump to fix. Get the tray there, Toddy, we'll run it back to the house.

  ELEANOR
Don't lose the letter!

  TODD
  (Exiting.)
I won't.
  (They're off.)

  ELEANOR
He'll lose it.

  KIM
Probably.

  ELEANOR
  (Waving a slip of paper.)
But I've got the date written down anyway. I wasn't a mother for nothing.

You must think I'm terribly old-fashioned.

  KIM
What? Why?

  ELEANOR
Bringing the "men-folk" their lunch.

  KIM
Oh, no.

Well, sort of.

  ELEANOR
It's just -- I love that man. I really do. And Todd too. I wouldn't do it for just anybody.

  KIM
You don't have to explain.

  ELEANOR
It took me fifty-three years to find Harmon. The funny thing was, all this time he was right under my nose.

  KIM
I know the feeling.

  ELEANOR
Oh?

  KIM
Well, I know the feeling that there's somebody out there who'd be just perfect, if you could only run into them. I think all the time I was married . . . I felt like that.

  ELEANOR
Ah.

  KIM
That must sound awful.

  ELEANOR
No. Not to me.

  KIM
Now I think . . . there must be a place where you fit in . . . if only you could find it. Of course, my daughters thought they had. It was called Calgary.

  ELEANOR
Oh dear oh dear.

  KIM
They think this is Outer Mongolia.

  ELEANOR
Well you did the right thing, coming out here. If it was a marriage like that.

  KIM
You think so?

  ELEANOR
I know so. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't got out of mine. Nothing good, that's for sure. George and I . . . had used all our good times up.

But. That's too long ago to worry about. You want to take some cucumbers with you?

  KIM
No, thanks.

  ELEANOR
I better be getting home myself.
  (She starts off.)

  KIM
Eleanor.
  (ELEANOR stops.)
What would you do if -- oh forget it. Nothing.

  ELEANOR
No no. What?
  (Pause.)

  KIM
What would you do . . . if you found out somebody in the valley was -- doing something -- that you thought other people should know about.

  ELEANOR
Ohhh. I know what you're talking about.

  KIM
You do?

  ELEANOR
Harmon wouldn't let you do that interview with Todd, would he? Well look, just wait a few weeks and --

  KIM
No. No, it's not that. I mean something -- dangerous, possibly, that they wanted to keep a secret.

  ELEANOR
Heavens. You make it sound like someone's started a bomb factory.

  KIM
I mean I know what I'd have done back in Calgary. I'd have gone to my editor, and if he said run with it --

  ELEANOR
Run with what?

  KIM
-- That's what I'd have done.

  ELEANOR
Well can you tell me?

  KIM
I don't know if I can tell you.

  ELEANOR
Well try me. I'm not a gossip, and if you tell me I can -

  KIM
Eleanor, if I was sure I could tell you, I wouldn't have had to ask you in the first place!
  (Pause.)

  ELEANOR
You're right.

I think.

Well I don't know what I would do. I might go -- talk to -- this person -- and then -- well frankly, I'd probably shut up about it.

  KIM
That's what I thought.

  ELEANOR
Why? Is it something you're going to print?

  KIM
I don't know yet.

  ELEANOR
Well, whatever it is, it can't be worse than Frieda's report on the pig-calling contest. Now that was truly frightening.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't make fun of --

  KIM
Excuse me. I'd better get going.
  (KIM leaves, quickly. ELEANOR moves as if to stop her, but doesn't. She stands there, uncertain.)

  Scene 5:

  (Choir practice. Buzz of choristers. HARMON practising a phrase of music, bass part.)

  HARMON
"Hark the herald angels sing . . .
  (He's flat:)
. . . angels sing . . . siiiiing . . ."
  (ELEANOR enters, carrying a copy of "The News". He glances at her.)
Maybe I'll just leave this one to the altos.

  ELEANOR
How long have you been here?

  HARMON
Just got here. Why?

  ELEANOR
You haven't seen the paper, have you?

  HARMON
Nope.

  ELEANOR
Just as well.

  HARMON
I know what it says, though.

  ELEANOR
  (Thrusting the paper at him.)
I don't think you --

  HARMON
  (Pushing it away.)
She called me up three days ago an told me what she was gonna print. That was enough.
  (KIM enters, carrying her music folder.)

  KIM
Evening, Eleanor, Harmon. The beef was delicious.
  (She brushes past them.)

  HARMON
Well now wait a minute. Don't I get a portion of the proceeds?

  KIM
I'm sorry?

  HARMON
From your newspaper. Since I'm the star attraction this week.

  KIM
  (Trying to keep things light.)
That's not the way it works.

  ELEANOR
Oh no? And this is?
  (She grabs the paper from HARMON, moves to KIM.)
How can you do this? How can you put your name to this sort of thing?!

  KIM
Eleanor --

  ELEANOR
I thought you were running a respectable newspaper! And then you go and print something like this!
  (Reading:)
"The News has learned" -- why do you do that, by the way? -- "The News has learned" - as if you were somehow above the rest of us!
  (Reads:)
"The News has learned that for eight years Harmon Stolee has informally used his farm as a halfway house for boys referred to him by government agencies. The Young Offenders Act prevents us from providing details." The only thing that prevents you from providing details is your lack of imagination!

  KIM
It's true, Eleanor.

  ELEANOR
It's nonsense!

  KIM
  (To HARMON.)
Is it?

  ELEANOR
  (Reading.)
"Asked to comment on this information, Mr. Stolee responded, 'Print what you have to.' I suppose you made that part up too!

  HARMON
No. She didn't, Lenny.

  ELEANOR
Oh, Harmon. Why would you even talk to her?

  HARMON
Because. Like she said. It's the truth.
  (Pause.)

  ELEANOR
No it's not!

  HARMON
Yes. It is.

I been providin special custody for a few years now. Remember Kevin?

  ELEANOR
He was your hired hand.

  HARMON
He was my hired hand. He'd also been in trouble with the law, and was still on probation. He was the first. Since then -- well, you met all the others.

  ELEANOR
Trevor?

Alex?

  HARMON
Alex'd been in and out of YDCs for years.

I suppose I should have told people, but I -- thought these boys had enough ta deal with as it was. An -- maybe I was protecting myself.

Might as well make a clean breast of it. Todd ain't my nephew either.

  ELEANOR
But your sister --

  HARMON
My sister lives in Mexico and runs a bike shop. She don't even have a kid.
  (To KIM:)
I'm not sure Todd deserves this, though.

  KIM
I didn't name Todd.

  HARMON
You didn't have to. Everybody's gonna know anyway.
  (TODD enters, beating at imaginary air drums. He stops, when he realizes everybody's watching him.)

  TODD
Hey.

  ELEANOR
Hello, Todd.

  TODD
What's the deal with everybody? Somebody lock up the piano again?

  HARMON
Todd --

  TODD
Oh hey Mizz Sayles, your daughter -- y'know, the older one, what's her name?

  KIM
Monica?

  TODD
Monica, yeah, she was lookin at my T-shirts yesterday, like I had em all on display at Video Alley? -- an she was sayin she might like to buy one off me.

  HARMON
Todd, I need to --

  TODD
But I told her, like, they're not for sale, I was just displayin em, but I was thinking, like, she could have one, you know, for free, I could let her have one.

  KIM
That's -- very nice of you, Todd.

  TODD
So, like, I'll bring it around to your place, she kinda liked my Alice in Chains T-shirt so that's probably what I'll give her.
  (Pause. KIM turns from him. HARMON takes the paper from ELEANOR, moves to him.)

  HARMON
Todd. You better have a look at this.
  (He hands it to him.)

  TODD
Why?

  HARMON
Just -- have a look.
  (TODD reads.)
Now I don't want you over-reacting --

  TODD
I don't fucking believe it.

  HARMON
Todd.

  TODD
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
  (He rushes KIM.)

  ELEANOR
Todd!
  (HARMON restrains him.)

  HARMON
Ten! Count to ten!

  TODD
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU PRINT THAT, YOU FUCKING BITCH.
  (HARMON struggles to subdue him. KIM has backed away, terrified.)

  HARMON
Don't do this, Todd, you're just --

  TODD
GET OFF ME!

  HARMON
-- Would you listen to me?

  TODD
SHE WANTS TO DO AN INTERVIEW ON ME ONE WEEK, THE NEXT WEEK SHE DOES THIS!
  (HARMON has subdued him on the ground.)

  HARMON
This -- is doin nobody any good. Least of all you. Now take a breath and use some a the things you learned.

  TODD
It's not gonna work.

  HARMON
Try.

  ELEANOR
You don't mean -- Todd is -- ?
  (She looks to KIM, who looks away. HARMON relaxes his grip on TODD, who rises. They regard each other.)

  TODD
Tell em what you want.
  (He goes. HARMON rises too.)

  HARMON
  (To ELEANOR.)
Todd was in trouble with the law up in Campbell River. I don't think you need to know more than that. He'll be done his probation in six months. Till then -- I'm responsible for him.

You got any concerns with that, speak to me.
  (He goes off, after TODD.

ELEANOR stands in shock.)

  ELEANOR
I think . . . I had better go --
  (She starts off.)

  KIM
I gave Harmon every chance to tell his side of the story.

  ELEANOR
Did you.

  KIM
I can't very well report it if he won't talk to me.

  ELEANOR
Then don't report anything! How did you find this out anyway?

  KIM
It wasn't hard. I made a few phone calls.

  ELEANOR
Oh that's right, I forgot, you're a professional reporter.

  KIM
That's right, Eleanor, this is what I do!

  ELEANOR
What? Cause trouble for people?

  KIM
Provide information.

  ELEANOR
Good people, people who --

  KIM
Harmon's neighbours have a right to know what he's doing!

I don't even say it's wrong what he's doing, I just think --

  ELEANOR
Oh isn't that kind of you.

  KIM
-- they have a right to know!

  ELEANOR
So they can sit at home and imagine the worst? Stew in their juices, worrying about robbers and murderers and --

  KIM
Eleanor, people have every reason to be concerned with their security. The same issue has a story in it about a break-in at the fire hall. The last issue had a story about a thirteen-year-old kid who was selling drugs to --

  ELEANOR
Are you suggesting Todd had something to do with that break-in?

  KIM
Of course not!

  ELEANOR
Or that he's a drug-dealer, or some kind of --

  KIM
This is pointless.

  ELEANOR
You ran that story to sell papers!

  KIM
That's not true!

  ELEANOR
The only reason you don't mention Todd in there is that the law won't allow you to!

  KIM
That's right!

  ELEANOR
-- That if you did you'd get convicted yourself!

  KIM
That's right, and you know what? It could still happen, if somebody wanted to bring charges and some judge decided I'd crossed the line! It could still happen! And then where do you think me and my little home-made newspaper would be?

  ELEANOR
Out of business. Which is maybe where you should be.

  KIM
Fine. But I poured the last of my alimony into starting this paper. If it goes down, I could have a hell of a time feeding my kids. But I did it anyway, and you know why? Because I thought it was important for people to have this information and make up their own minds about it, whether I get into trouble or not!

So now they have it. It's done.

I don't think I'll stay for practice tonight.
  (She goes. ELEANOR looks to the paper, where TODD dropped it on the ground. She picks it up.)

  Scene 6:

  (Light up on KIM. Aria in background, soprano, low.)

  KIM
It's not easy fitting into a new community. Not that I've had much practise at it. Before I came here, I'd led a pretty sedentary existence. Childhood, adolescence, university, all conducted from the same split-level bungalow. Then marriage, and off to another house nearly the same. This is all quite a shock.

When we first moved here . . . I noticed this thing that the people here do. I call it: "The Nod". Like this.
  (She gives a sort of blank-faced nod.)
"The Nod". Used in greeting people along the road or at the store. Oh, there are variations on it. "The Wave".
  (A gay little wipe of the hand.)
"The Salute".
  (A salute.)
But most of the time it's just --
  (Nods.)
"The Nod". There's something almost sinister about it. I began to imagine a secret society, and this was their centuries-old signal, their way of recognizing each other, kind of like the Masons. So very quickly I began nodding back --
  (She does.)
-- all the time, like an idiot, to everyone and everything, children, dogs, just so they wouldn't know I wasn't really One Of Them.

Of course, there isn't any secret society. There are a few witches around, but they keep posting flyers at the gas station saying they're having another lunar celebration and inviting everyone to come. I suppose when I start doing it without thinking -- nodding, or waving, or -- well I can't see myself saluting somehow, but who knows? -- when that happens . . . I really will have become one of them. I look forward to that day. I hope I know it when it comes.

Scene 7:

  (HARMON's house. He sits in a recliner, head back, as if asleep.

TODD enters. He's been drinking. He starts to sneak past.)

  HARMON
Evening.

You're up late.

  TODD
So're you.

  HARMON
Mm. Well I was just sittin up, listenin to Teresa Stratas. Y'ever heard her, Todd?

  TODD
I don't think so.

  HARMON
Here, I'll put er on for you.

  TODD
No, that's -- fine.
  (Pause.)

  HARMON
We missed you at practise.

  TODD
Sorry.

  HARMON
How much have you had to drink?

  TODD
Three beers.

  HARMON
How many?

  TODD
Four.

  HARMON
Lenny's a little concerned. With you n Her Nibs gone, an me late gettin back . . . things was lookin a little thin there.

  TODD
Well she better get used to it. I'm quittin' choir anyway.

  HARMON
Oh no you're not.

  TODD
Look, Harmon, there are certain things you can make me do, but goin ta choir isn't one of them.

  HARMON
You gonna give in ta Kim Sayles that easy?

  TODD
She can go ta hell.

  HARMON
That sounds like five-beer talk.

  TODD
Yeah, well I'm eighteen years old now, Harmon, I can --

  HARMON
Maybe six.

  TODD
Fine, maybe I had fifteen beers, Harmon, maybe I drank the place dry! Does it matter? Obviously I'm dangerous, obviously I'm some kinda criminal! WHO CARES IF I'M A DRUNK?

  HARMON
Who cares? Me.

  TODD
Yeah? Well yer just about the only one.
  (TODD sits, spent.)
Lotta people read that newspaper.

  HARMON
They will this week.

  TODD
Mike Hegel figures I must be some kinda homicidal maniac or somethin. Kept callin me "O.J."

  HARMON
Mike Hegel's got his own problems.

  TODD
An Jan didden even wanna serve me. Said if I started any trouble, she'd kick me out.

  HARMON
Well if you hadn flown off the handle at the hall like that --

  TODD
What was I supposed to do?

  HARMON
Don't give em more reason ta suspect you!

  TODD
Like they wouldn't anyway.

  HARMON
Rise above it then!

  TODD
Harmon, it don't matter what I do, I can't change what people think!

Huh. I remember my Dad tellin me: "You do one thing wrong in this life . . . and they ain't never gonna forgive you." Guess he knew what he was talkin about.

  HARMON
So ya gonna do what he did?

  TODD
What.

  HARMON
Just keep provin em right?

  TODD
I don't know.

  HARMON
If I thought you was yer Dad, Todd . . . you wouldn even be here.

Yer drunk an yer past curfew. I'll haveta punish you, you know that don't you?
  (TODD nods.)
Go up ta bed. I'll think a somethin in the mornin.
  (TODD starts out.)
Todd.

I told em you was in trouble with the law. I didn't tell them why. I suggest you keep that to yerself.
  (After a moment, TODD goes. HARMON sits there.)

  Scene 8:

  (The hall. Busy. Occasionally we hear snatches of voices singing/practising bits of various Christmas carols.

KIM stands alone, silently going over her music. She looks up from her music, and around. Frowns. Looks back to her music again.

ELEANOR enters. She gives KIM a slight nod, but continues on her way without speaking.)

  KIM
Eleanor.
  (ELEANOR stops, turns.)
I've uh . . . been organizing the cakewalk for the school . . . for the Christmas fair . . . I . . . wondered if you'd have time to contribute something.

  ELEANOR
I don't have children at the school.

  KIM
Oh, well, that's not necessary.

  ELEANOR
I don't bake cakes.
  (ELEANOR starts away again.)

  KIM
Look . . . I'm really trying to do the right thing

here . . . I don't really want to be the valley pariah.

  ELEANOR
You?

  KIM
Though it looks like I may have no choice.

  ELEANOR
I don't really think you're the victim here.

  KIM
I've been here twenty minutes and I've yet to be spoken to.
  (ELEANOR looks around. She can see it's true.)

  ELEANOR
You stuck your head up.

  KIM
I what?

  ELEANOR
You stuck your head up. You created a stir. Some people agree with what you did, some don't. But nobody knows who does and who doesn't, who's on whose side. So it's easier just to ignore you altogether.

  KIM
Amazing.

  ELEANOR
But it's not the same as having "Go Back to Jail" scrawled on the front of your property.

  KIM
What?

  ELEANOR
Somebody wrote "Go Back to Jail" on the sign at the front of Harmon's property.

  KIM
Oh for god's sake.

  ELEANOR
And Harmon tells me people are accusing Todd of that break-in at the fire hall.

  KIM
That's ridiculous!

  ELEANOR
Is it? Why?

  KIM
Well if they --

  ELEANOR
What did Todd do up in Campbell River?

You do know, don't you?

  KIM
Yes.

  ELEANOR
Well then?

  KIM
It wasn't a break-in.

  ELEANOR
No, but -- what then?

  KIM
Look, why are you asking me this?

  ELEANOR
Maybe if it was nothing too important, you should report that too.

  KIM
I can't report it. You know that.

  ELEANOR
You implied once. You can imply again.

  KIM
What if it was something important?

  ELEANOR
Was it?

  KIM
If it was something important, would that change your opinion of what I wrote?

  ELEANOR
I can hardly answer that unless you tell me what it was!
  (Beat.)

  KIM
I don't gossip, Eleanor. I print news.
  (HARMON enters. He looks sombre.)

  HARMON
Kim.

  KIM
Look. If you're still angry, write a letter to the editor, but --

  HARMON
It's not about that.

You might want to call home. There's been trouble.

  ELEANOR
What sort of trouble?

  HARMON
You're in that little rancher down by the Mohawk, aren't you?

  KIM
Yes.

  HARMON
Well I don't want you panicking, your children are fine, but -- someone's put a bullet through your front window.

  KIM
Oh my god --

  HARMON
The Mounties are there. They got everything under control.

  KIM
Oh my god. Where's a phone?
  (She hurries away.)

  HARMON
It's in the coat check. They're waiting for you to call!
  (He turns back to ELEANOR.)
I was afraid a something like this.

  ELEANOR
It could be an accident, you know.

  HARMON
I don't think so.
  (TODD enters.)

  TODD
We haven't started yet?

  ELEANOR
Not yet.

  TODD
Good. Thought I was late.

  HARMON
I thought you weren't coming ta choir anymore.

  TODD
Well, I changed my mind. Not gonna let that woman run my life for me. Live n let live, that's what I say.
  (They watch as he takes off his jacket, sorts through his music. HARMON moves to him.)

  HARMON
Where have you been?

  TODD
When?

  HARMON
Today. Just now. I haven't seen you much today.

  TODD
I've been around.

  HARMON
Where?